i do miss you

you are my best friend .....
i miss you.......
im so sorry i hurt you....
why is this so hard for me to say i wasnt there for her when she needed me most .. i cant remember the last time we have been in a fight this long. no more secret sharing.... no more laughing.... no more good times.... i tryed to help i really did i just couldnt im weak not strong enough to be your crying shoulder. thats not your fault though. its mine. but if we could go back in time and rewind the past i would change i would never leave you alone. i cant be without you another minute. this hurts me and you. can we please go back. you needed me and i wasnt there but im so sorry ..................I NEED YOU NOW

when do we mature

from the little catipillars of our high school life to the beautiful butterfiles of adulthood.
wheres the change .... when do we realize that we need to change. for me i needed to along time ago. but it didnt happen as planned. ima late bloomer.
im not ready to graduate, not ready to be on my own, not ready to be alone, this is so hard
i cant take this frustration. i cant eat, im looseing sleep and at the same time, slowly loosing my mind. when does this all end and does it ever end. i has to, for the sake of my sanity.
in closeing can i fail on purpose to not graduate?
( joke)

christmas present

i have never been dissappointed on christmas morning ... even if i didnt get exactly what i wanted i recieved something just as good. but i have never had a bad christmas because ever time im with the people i love ... whats better then that.
oh the best present i got was on christmas morning ... it was sittin in my driveway with a big red bow on it , my car 2004 mustang.

thanksgiving

the best food in the entire world to eat at thanksgiving isssssssssss
PUMPKIN PIE
but i also like sweet potato caressrol with tons of melted masrshmellows and brown sugar yummmyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
ok i need to stop talking about this because ima fatty and im gettin really hungery

Electricuted

The rain can set a mood, greater than anyone can imagine. The night we kissed in the rain, was unforgettable. It may not have been my first kiss, but it was the most memorable one I've ever experienced. The night was steamy, the water kept pouring down like a waterfall. He was shirtless in the rain, the beat of my heart was pounding like the thunder. It began to rain harder. We made sweet eye contact, that locked us in place. I tried to turn around, but he wrapped his arms around me, stopping me from getting away. The basketball fell to the ground... He turned me around, and leaned in to a passionate first kiss in the summer rain.

kids these days

People for century have been talking about "kids these days." with every generation kids keep getting worst and worst ... im a senior, and looking at the future of our community scares the heck out of me .... i mean what are they thinking. My little brother is a freshman and i worry about the kind of people that are going to influence his life, by just being in the same class as them ...... i swear if i wasnt as mature as i am i would have knocked the snot out of every living, breathing, disrespectful, loser child that roams the halls of apollo high school

its not hard just to be nice ... to care about rules and responsibilites.

everytime you all get in fights in lunch or be disrespectfull in assembelly's in front of your peers and other adults .... its just plain embarressing

HOLY CRAP JUST GROW UP!

Avengeful Existence

Our lives are only temporary. There for the sorrows of our day consist only of what our mind controls. Thoughts of our past concern our very nature, but in fact time will heal all wounds. Fighting, to control everyone around us. All we really want is peace of mind, where all is NOT lost. But, our hearts are weak, and fall for the things we think we love so hard and so fast. Anger sets in, and regret replaces the lust and love. We want to see the shadows of our love, and what its left behind. In all honesty, we don't need the shadows to live. We need to be freed of our thoughts full of sadness, let it go.

love is a game

is this thing called love real or is it like every other highschool sport?

i have been though every type of guy and game that they try to spill

a journey

my childhood sweetheart and i have gone on two vacations together .....
i learned more about him in those to vacation them i ever have just hanging out in our elliment.
like mexico .... walking around the cruise ship deck until three o'clock in the morning u learn about the real person on the inside the one you never really new was underneath the surfazack told me about what he wants to be when he grows up i never new how much farming ment to him ...... and the second trip
the houseboat in the middle of the wilderness at dale hallow lake ..... long days of jet skiing and cool night in the hott tub.... promise it was tottally PG
but hes my bestfriend
and hes the only guy friend that will ever tell me i look fat in a dress..... hahaha
love you zack

talk it out

i think its time to have this talk. i have worried about this for a while yessssssss, i am a virgin and yessssss i wanna have sex but IM NOT READY i cant live with the fact that i could let my parents down. let god down. today, everyone has sex all my friends have sex theres not one person i do know that hasnt had sex .... SEX... SEX.... SEX
im tired of hearing about how fun it is how pasionate it is. im sorry but its slutty.
its sad when in the state nof kentucky its legal for children at the age of 9 can buy condoms to promote safe sex..... thats just gross
but anyway i am not ready and i dont care what scott, austin, zack, nick or anyother punk wants me .... i dont want them

its somthing like this

i have never loved like this before .....
its never been this fun before.....
no worries, no drama, no crying
only the butterflies......
those technicolored wonderful butterflies....

he makes me feel like flying .....
ive never loved like this.....
the charmer of my heart....
the laughter of my life...
hes all i ever wanted .....
and everything i thought i didnt deserve...

i hope i dont mess this up ....
like i did the last time ...
will my past haunt me...
will i ever get over it....

doubt will me my demise

cant read cant write?

i wouldnt be able to have school ..... wait the wouldnt be school......
so that mean nooo blogging YAY! just kiddin
but it would be back to cave men times and it would be alot easier
everything we new would be over done never more....... sad

spring makes me feel

i like spring because everything is reborn. after a long cold winter theres nothing better then an easter morning the sun is shining and spring flowers color the earth. but other then the hole reborn stuff the most important is tat its the gate way to summer my birthday season.... the happiest moments of my life happened during summer. But i cant think of any thing else.... so yesss

There are many types of diffrent potatos :
scalloped
mashed
fried
french fried
in stews .....
and so on and so forth

But i think the world will be alot skinnier place poataos are full of starch and mostly the way they are cooked is unhealthy. Its like a guilty pleasure, and of course we cant live without pleaseing our self .... mine is chocolate covered strawberries hmmmmmmmm.

Im sure it would have effected the world trade because we traded with europe and grew connections.
But thats the all i can say about the matter so happy blogging! <3

is love blind?

love is like spinning around and around u get dizzy, and kindof sick to your stomach, and u dont know what way is right and left ..... but blind?
yes deffinately, when your in love you are blind to the other persons flaws, in your eyes they are perfect. This somtimes is a bad thing. i have a frined .... she was head over heals for this jerk and is still is partly .... he lied cheated and played her like a video game. but she still kept going back i really never understood why but i do agree love is blind

friends

i have alot of friends but my most and biggest influence is jillian
Jilly Billy .... Jilly Beans....... or just plain Jill she is wicked smart histarically funny and everything a true friend should be.
i am the kind of person that always has somthing going wrong and shes always there to tell me when im being stupid or just to have my back or a shoulder to cry on
i love her shes the best friend i have had since birth

family

My family is my salvation in the world that trys so hard to break me down.
My mommy: is my guide for the future, she keeps me on track so i dont stray from my goals, i get my beautiful heart from her
My daddy: im a daddy's little angel, he also calls me firecracker b/c he says i explode with personality, i get my stregnth from him
My older brother : ben is the protector, stands up when i need him the most, and is my great wall of china when i call his name, he gives me saftey
My younger brother: jacob is my joy, i couldnt go through one day without hereing his voice, hes the boy version on me
without these people i wouldnt be the person i am today i love them and i wouldnt live without the four halfs that make me hole

so this is new

I have never blogged before in my life so this is new.
So basically i didnt think that my personal feelings would be read by one or maybe thousands but as long as you dont know who i am i guess its ok. So here it goes....
I am a senior in highschool but im in love with a freshman boy yea i know thats creepy, but really not, considering i just turn 17 and he is 16 a year isnt that big of a deal, but my mother thinks its inappropriate so im not aloud to see him. Im also dateing a really amazing guy who my mother cant get enough of, but hes not my freshman what am i supposed to do. Do i go against my mother who i love dearly and fallow my heart, or stay with the guy she adores and get over my feelings that are forbidden. If anyone has been in a situation similar to mine please help!