i do miss you

you are my best friend .....
i miss you.......
im so sorry i hurt you....
why is this so hard for me to say i wasnt there for her when she needed me most .. i cant remember the last time we have been in a fight this long. no more secret sharing.... no more laughing.... no more good times.... i tryed to help i really did i just couldnt im weak not strong enough to be your crying shoulder. thats not your fault though. its mine. but if we could go back in time and rewind the past i would change i would never leave you alone. i cant be without you another minute. this hurts me and you. can we please go back. you needed me and i wasnt there but im so sorry ..................I NEED YOU NOW

when do we mature

from the little catipillars of our high school life to the beautiful butterfiles of adulthood.
wheres the change .... when do we realize that we need to change. for me i needed to along time ago. but it didnt happen as planned. ima late bloomer.
im not ready to graduate, not ready to be on my own, not ready to be alone, this is so hard
i cant take this frustration. i cant eat, im looseing sleep and at the same time, slowly loosing my mind. when does this all end and does it ever end. i has to, for the sake of my sanity.
in closeing can i fail on purpose to not graduate?
( joke)

christmas present

i have never been dissappointed on christmas morning ... even if i didnt get exactly what i wanted i recieved something just as good. but i have never had a bad christmas because ever time im with the people i love ... whats better then that.
oh the best present i got was on christmas morning ... it was sittin in my driveway with a big red bow on it , my car 2004 mustang.